I Am I Said

"I am," I said,
To no one there.
And no one heard at all.
Not even the chair…

Lately I’ve taken to listening to the old time radio station on my satellite radio. They broadcast radio shows from the past. There is a big variety, from comedy to drama, with the mystery and suspense programs being my favorite. I can almost see my grandparents gathered around the big radio in the blonde cabinet in their living room.

Before you think I’m really weird, remember I have an hour or so drive, each way to work. It’s an easy drive but the radio helps pass the time. These programs are much like listening to a book.

The other day I heard a tale, in the suspense category, according to the announcer, which was actually a short story by Ray Bradbury. After checking on the Internet I found out it’s a chapter in a book he wrote. The story was about an old woman, seventy-two, who saves all the memorabilia from her past. Her name is Mrs. Bentley. Seventy-two doesn’t seem all that old to me, but I guess back then it was. Anyway, two little girls come by and play in her yard one day. Being lonely, she calls to them to come up on her porch. They visit and Mrs. Bentley tells them that she was as young as they are once. The girls don’t believe it and argue with her. Then they say she’s lying and run away laughing. Mrs. Bentley is furious.

A few days later the girls are back. Mrs. Bentley calls them to the porch to show them some of the mementos she’s saved from her past, proving she was young as they once. The girls argue, saying the objects don’t prove a thing because she could have gotten them from anywhere. Frustrated, Mrs. Bentley insists that they too, will become old like she is one day. The girls grab her possessions and run from the porch, laughing as they go.

All of this makes Mrs. Bentley start to wonder about her childhood and her past. She looks through more of her souvenirs and hears the voice of her late husband speaking to her, explaining that the items no longer belong to her because they are from the past. She is no longer the person the items were saved for because she’s living now, in the present, and not in the past. None of the saved clothes will fit. The saved pictures don’t look like she looks now. They are not who she is today.

Finally, she understands and with the girls’ help, discards the tokens of her past. From that moment on she lives only in the present. The girls’ believe they were right and Mrs. Bentley was never young in a “million trillion years.”

For some reason this story really made me think. Perhaps it’s because I’m from a family of ‘savers’. Or maybe it’s because I heard and still hear the ‘remember when’ stories of my grandparents and parents past. Then again, maybe it’s because I’m the one who the girls would never believe was a little girl in a million trillion years.

I think that what happened in the past makes us who we are today, but, as Mrs. Bentley finds out, we aren’t that person. Think of a reunion. The cheerleaders are not cheerleaders any longer. The football stars are bald and overweight. Nobody looks like the picture in the yearbook. People who were close friends no longer know what the other likes, feels, thinks.

Remembering the past, loved ones who are gone, pleasant memories, is not a bad thing. Dwelling on the wrongs, the should haves, could haves and whys is not productive. Living for today may be the answer. We are who we are, because of who we were. But we can’t go back. I heard a quote in a movie once that stuck with me. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present!” So, make the most of today and be who you are.

"I am," I cried.

"I am," said I.

And I am lost, and I can't even say why.

Leavin' me lonely still…

There’s a bead store in Odessa that offers different classes on things I’ve been interested in but never tried. I can read directions and even follow them fairly well, but sometimes I like for someone to show me first so I can actually see how something is done. I guess I’m mostly visual when it comes to learning. Anyway, recently I took a class on wire crochet jewelry. It was fun and very easy. It’s also very forgiving, since it’s wire instead of thread. I took some great pictures with my phone but my phone is crazy and they aren’t there. I have a few pictures in progress from my camera, that aren’t very good, but the finished product turned out okay! It’s three separate strands, braided and twisted together.

Three chains braided. Blurry but you get the jist...

Then you just kind of shape the necklace, because it is a little bit stiff. Not real stiff, but not flexible, like a chain.

Finished.

A better picture.

Framed. Ha!

 I do plan to experiment and try some other bead and wire combinations. It’s fun and I’m trying things I never tried. I guess on class day I'm living for the day!

"I am," I said.

To no one there.

And no one heard at all…

If You Don’t Like It…

I don't need anyone to tell me how to run my life,
Got along alright so far I don't really think I need to hear your advice.

A few days ago I read this Miss Manners column online. (http://tinyurl.com/3felq6x) I found it funny, because it dealt with knitting. But the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s something that happens every day in many ways.

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

Over the years I have noticed people knitting in public and have had no particular problem with it. However, I am a bit put off by those who knit in church or at an event such as a recital or concert.

Is it acceptable to knit at a church, synagogue or other religious service? And what about a concert or recital? I recently attended a piano and violin recital in a small venue where someone was knitting in the third row. Surely it was evident to the performers. And if such knitting is not appropriate, how should the knitters be approached, or prevented?

GENTLE READER: Please do not -- repeat, not -- make a hostile approach to knitters. Have you not noticed that they are armed with long, pointy sticks?

Of all the multitaskers who could annoy you, Miss Manners would not have guessed that knitters would top the list. There is a centuries-long history of ladies quietly doing needlework while remaining alert to what was going on around them.

But perhaps your complaint is that they are not quiet. If the clicking of needles is what bothers you, you could appeal to the authorities at church or concert hall that as they ban texting, it is only fair to ban activities that create similar noise. And if they don’t already ban texting, you might start by asking that they do before going after those comparatively unobtrusive knitters.

Visit Miss Manners at her Web site,www.missmanners.com, where you can send her your questions.

2011, by Judith Martin

Why do people worry so much about what other people are doing? Is it curiosity or is it boredom? Do they have nothing better to do than to be concerned about others thoughts and/or actions?

Let me clarify that I’m open to suggestion. I really am! If you have an idea you want to share that can help make things better, I’ll listen. I’m even up for constructive criticism. But if I’m told what I should or shouldn’t be doing, that could be an entirely different story. It’s all in the presentation. I’m not sure who died and made them the expert. Oh, yeah, it was nobody. They are self appointed.

In my experience people like this are so lacking in self-confidence they have to project the attention on anything else but their own shortfalls. It’s disgusting. And sadly, the loudest, most obnoxious people seem to get the farthest. And those are the people telling me that what I do is wrong because they don’t think it’s appropriate. Get a life.

Personality seems to be a factor as well. I know whole families of know-it-alls. I also know a lot of people lacking in self-confidence who don’t become know-it-alls, judging everyone around them. I find it particularly funny when two know-it-alls get put together. It’s like one of those old silent movie Keystone Cops chase scenes. Everyone is dancing around, trying to convince people that what they think is the right thing but nobody is getting anywhere. Imagine what could be accomplished if everyone minded their own business and just did what they were supposed to do!

Miss Manner’s message seems clear to me. Stop worrying about what I’m doing. If you don’t like it, and it’s not causing physical harm, look the other way. As for me, I won’t worry about what you think. I read this the other day and it brought things into perspective. “What other people think about you is none of your business”. I don’t care what you think. And next time someone decides to tell me what all is wrong with me and my life and what I’m doing, they should remember, I have a lot of long, pointy sticks!

I've seen 'em come and go tryin' to do it all for show
Got their walkin', talkin', built in' jive
Don't really think they're workin' nine to five

If you don't like it I don't care

Remember Bryce’s scarf I was working on way back in January? Well, I didn’t like it so I put it aside. It was drawing up on the sides and was just not looking right. He’s home for a bit so he’d like it finished to take back with him. I ripped it out and started it again, lengthwise. I only had a short pair of circular needles with me when I started it so it’s crowded on the cord. I never changed when I had the chance so I don’t know how long it is but I hope it’s okay. It seems like I’ve taken more rows out than put in but I’ll finish it before he leaves so he can wear it during the cold weather in Germany, his next stop. Really, I’m glad when one of the kids wants me to make them something!

Lotsa stitches!

Bryce's scarf

Other things I’m trying are some jewelry/beading type things. I’m quickly finding that it’s not really my forte! Everything I do seems to look like an elementary art project. Oh well! Nobody told me I had to try something new! 

First try at 'fixtures'

I've got my mind made up know what I wanna do.
I'll do it anyway I choose…

If you don't like it I don't care.
Hit the road 'cause I just  just  just don't care.