Well, Excuse Me, But I Think You've Got My Chair…

No, that one's not taken, I don't mind
If you sit here, I'll be glad to share…

The other day, on a trip for work, I had what I think could possibly be the rudest thing ever, happen at the training. It involved a chair, or rather lack of one. Actually, the whole trip was a little bizarre. It was a bad chair day to say the least! But to keep it short, I’ll leave out some of the details.

There is a team of four of us in Austin for training. We arrive at the training a little early to allow for catching up with friends across the state. There are a lot of my work friends there. I’m always happy to see them. We visited and caught up and then it was time for the session to start. I headed towards the table where my team is sitting. Surprise! There are only three chairs and the three chairs are full. There are no empty chairs anywhere close. Nobody looks at me or says a word so I go across the room to sit by my friend. (Hmmm…this could be a whole other blog post!) And no, although rude, this wasn’t the rudest thing ever.

The updates begin and we regroup after break and my team makes sure to invite me to the new table. We have a great discussion and then it’s time for lunch. We all leave our materials at the table.

After lunch I go back to the table to sit down and there is a woman in my chair. She has pushed all of my belongings aside and put her things there. There are no other empty chairs at the table. Immediately she starts telling me she didn’t take my chair. She said she had pulled up a chair for me and some man took it. Really? I just looked at her. I picked up everything that was mine and moved to another table. I was not going to argue with some rude woman over a chair.

One of the people on my team started texting me, saying I shouldn’t have gone, that I had been there first and I needed to come back. That wasn’t going to happen. If taking the chair was that important to her, she could have it.

The rest of the training was uneventful. Soon it was time to leave. As I was standing outside waiting for the van, I noticed the same rude woman talking to one of the team. I hoped she might go away, but lo and behold, she was riding with us to the airport! It turns out she used to work where we do, and knew a member of the team. She was loading her luggage and as I climbed in the van I asked if I needed to give her my seat. I probably shouldn’t have said anything but I was a bit put out by the whole situation.

She got in the van and immediately started explaining again, how she hadn’t taken my chair. She’d pulled up a chair and some man took it. Oh wait, second try. She’d pulled up a chair but the man said I didn’t work there now and didn’t need it. Oh wait, third try. She’d pulled up a chair and some man just came over and said I left and took the chair while she was trying to tell him it was taken. Right. Decide on a story and stick to it or better yet, give it up already. I just said forget it and ignored her, the rest of the way to the airport.

In reality, none of the chairs belonged to any of us. But if you have been sitting in the chair, have all of your belongings there, including a nametag, it’s close to being ‘your’ chair. The way I see it she took my chair and ‘some man’ took hers. My things were there and she moved them to make room for hers. There was plenty of room and she should have pulled up a chair for herself and left mine, since it was already taken. She should have gotten up and found another chair to replace the one she decided she wanted. She should learn how to play well with others. She shouldn’t be so rude. And she should never try to sit anywhere close to me again.

Well, excuse me, but I think you've got my chair…

I should grab the knitting when something like that happens. Something upsetting or stressful I mean. But it’s not always understood by everyone that knitting can be a calming influence. It is for me and I’d do a lot better in many areas if I could knit all the time!

Speaking of knitting, Bryce will be in Germany this term for school and he wanted his scarf finished before he left. I finished but it was a bit short so I’m adding some at each end. I think it looks okay but I’m not convinced he shares my opinion. I also finished a short scarf or neckwarmer for him to take back.

Both ends with added section...it looks right to me!

Modeling...it's gonna be cold in Germany!

The ends again.

Modeling...this can be wrapped tight or left long

Up close view

It’s funny, the things that stick with you. I actually woke up from a sound sleep the other night, furious with the rude woman, who is Pamela, by the way, thinking of all the things I should have, could have said to her. I suppose if you just think rude things to say but never actually say them it’s not nearly as bad. By keeping my mouth shut I didn’t stoop to her level. Well maybe, but only in my mind!

Oh, I like you too, and to tell you the truth
That wasn't my chair after all.

It’s Only Words

And words are all I have,
To take your heart away…

When I went to high school we were encouraged to take CLEP (The College-Level Examination Program) tests before graduation. Passing the test gives you the opportunity to receive college credit for what you already know. They are still available. I don’t know how many there were back then but the tests I took aren’t on the list now. I took three of them. One was in algebra, and I missed passing by a very few points. The other was for Freshman English and the third Humanities. All of these were in the requirements for a Bachelors degree at the college I chose to attend. I received credit for both the English and the Humanities tests. There was a limit of 9 college credit hours that could be earned. Because of that, I still had to take the Freshman English class on writing 500 word themes.

My magnetic Maxine words!

First of all, I don’t agree with imposing confines on creative writing and that is what the class seemed to be about. After teaching high school students though, I understand why they are necessary. A paragraph is typically a series of sentences related to a single topic instead of one sentence, as is the popular high school student belief. A 500 word theme consisted of 5 paragraphs, including an introduction, three narrative paragraphs and a conclusion.

500 word theme structure

Back then the thought of writing 500 words was atrocious. Not only would it cut into my social life but I didn’t have a typewriter. The only computers available at the college at that time required cards with holes punched in them for any action. There were typewriters available in the library but there was usually a wait. Because my handwriting was reasonably legible I asked the assistant professor if I could hand write my papers. He allowed any of us who didn’t have access to a typewriter and whose handwriting he could read, to complete our assignments in that manner. It wasn’t a bad deal except the final copy had to be perfect, meaning no scratch outs and in ink.

I liken the assistant professor to a student teacher. He had recently finished his degree and was hoping to become a full-fledged professor. He was what I considered a ‘hippy’. He had long hair and a beard, and wore a hat, at least until he got into the classroom. He had a serape or poncho that was like a striped blanket that he’d wear over his clothes most of the time and he had tall suede boots, what my mom called squaw boots, with fringe down the side. He had his pant legs tucked in, always. He was a nice enough guy and even though I remember all of that I don’t recall his name.

We would begin class with the greetings then he’d go into teaching. We’d do the lesson and on Friday he’d make the ‘big’ 500 word theme assignment. It was guaranteed to ruin the weekend. The interesting thing was how he chose the topics for the paper. He never had a planned subject on which to write the theme. He would look around the room then focus on an object. That object would become the assignment.

For some reason now, it’s easy for me to spit out 500 words. In fact most times I have to make myself stop. (He’d be so proud.) Maybe it’s because nobody is making me write. Back then though, it was torture, especially hand writing, editing, counting the dang words, editing then writing a mistake free paper on some off the wall topic that had no meaning. I labored through the semester, dutifully counting the blasted words and coming up with some semblance of a readable paper each week.

One Friday after looking around the room, Mr. Assistant Professor proclaimed the topic that week would be ‘A Chair’. Yes, write a 500 word theme about a chair. Great. Not only was it about a chair but it was to be about the classroom chair he pointed out. Great again.

Sunday night, the customary time I started my 500 word theme due Monday, I pulled out the paper and begin to mull over what I might write. I struggled and wrote, erased, wrote, edited and wrote. Finally, I was finished. That is until I counted the words. 353. There were only three. hundred. fifty. three. damn words. Ugh! I tried and I tried again and I could not stretch the theme about the chair into 500 words.

Frustrated to no end I determined that writing 500 word themes was for the birds and decided to share that information with Mr. AP. I re-wrote my theme about the chair and went on to explain that when I was finished I was finished and it shouldn’t matter if it was 500 words or 350 words. If it was legible and made sense it should be acceptable. But if he insisted on 500 words I could write 500 words on nothing or in this case on a chair, just to make the required word count.

Monday morning I had changed my mind but it was too late. I had to turn in what I’d written. I handed it to him and hurried from the room. Friday, when the previous papers were handed back and the new assignment prescribed, he placed my paper on my desk, upside down. Reluctantly I turned it over and lo and behold, I had an A on my paper! I had a smiley face and a note from him as well. The note said that I had made my point and from now on when I was finished I could stop.

I made an A in that class. Mr. Associate Professor put a little more thought into his choice of future topics or, if it was another off the wall thing, he made sure to give some explanation as to what he was actually looking for. Guess what the final was at the end of the course. Write a 500 word theme on how to write a 500 word theme. Ugh!

Talk in everlasting words,

And dedicate them all to me

It's only words and words are all I have,

To take your heart away.